ive been ATTACKED and i say..IT IS WAR!!!

wow...supercoolness!!!
hahaha..today.pagi2 aku dah bangun sebab mmg malam tadi aku sengaja tidor awal sebab nak bangun pagi nie...
so i decide to jog..wahaha..hari2 semalam2 btul2 merunsingkan minda aku dan menyebakkan perasaan aku!! wahaha...aku pon maseh buntu dengan jawapan yang aku rase belum kukuh untuk aku smapaikan pada sesiapa pon..sebab aku tahu mereka tak dapat rase ape yang aku rase..sebab aku jerk yang tahu ape yang aku rasa. hahaha...yup!! aku maseh bersedeyh dan bertambah sedeyh dengan geembira yang aku terima semalam!! terima kasaeh la wahai warga pendidik bangsa!!!

aku tau aku kerdil, aku tau aku tidak punye ape2 dan aku juga tahu aku maseh kanak2 hingusan yang maseh mentah dalam dunie.tapi kalau ini yang dipersembahkan dan dipertontonkan untuk aku....aku perlu cari jalan detour yang aku sendiri perlu buat untuk memastikan aku tidak sesat lagi dengan dunia yang aku rasa sangat menyesatkan!!! wow!!! aku tak sangka aku dah terokainye sampai kesini...

while i jog just now, so much dalam kepala aku yang sangat mengusarkan hati aku dan memilukan benak aku..i walk as fast as i can just to avoid it coming to my heart until one point, where i sat at the buiann...i felt so much pain in my heart.and air mata aku luluh bagaikan terbukakne pitu empire air yang jarang2 dibuka just for mase2 kemarau sahaja. tons and entah...i never cried sebanyak nie untuk perkara nie. mungkin aku dah lama simpan.dan pike punye pike..aku rase di ATTACK!!! aku rase mcm ade perang between aku dengan mereka.

aku diattack dengan alasan yang tidak kukuh skali.personal attack. dan aku menjadi mangsa.aku menjadi mangsa!!! dalam perkara ini...aku just represent my artwork!!! a judgement perlulah diberikan kepada artwork yang aku berikan bukan kepada aku!!! IM JUST A PRESENTER artwork y7ang aku haselkan!!! dan bila perkara sebaliknya berlaku...maknenye aku dijudge bukan sebagai artwork...tetapi PERSONAL!!

aku tau aku terlalu kurang dan tidak mempunyai banyak kelebihan berbanding dengan orang lain..dan aku x perlu nak menyatakan kekurangan aku....wow!!! mungkin anda semua sangt perfet!!! im jelous!! hmm....but aku cube hari2 bangun dan menutup segala kelemahan aku supaya aku nampak same dalam semua segi~!!! aku pon manusia baisa mahukan ape yang korunk mahukan. dan yang pentingnye aku berkerja keras untuk memtup segala kelemahan aku supaya korunk x boleh tundukakkan aku just im not perfect!!! i so aku mangangap diri aku lebih MORE THAN PERFESCT!!yup!! kadang2 aku penat but i cant show..i cant hide and just sit in the corner melihat kejayaan yang korunk mwiliki...yup!! im not gonna fo dat!!!

so..ape masalahmye ngan aku!!! kenapa korunk perlu mengjudgekan aku dengan perkara2 yang korunk rase ade pada hanya fixikil dan personal untuk aku.aku dah berikan segala butir2 artwork yang perlu kau judgekan!!! adkah aku disekolah saket jiwa yang mane aku lah yang menjadi bahan assesment!!! owh tidak!!! owh mungkin tidak !!! aku maseh belum buta dan aku maseh belom nyanyuk!!! masalah ini kemudian aku rasakan bukan lah datang pada aku...dan bukan lah datang dari artwork aku....dan YA!! DATANG NYA DARI KAU!!! dan aku yakin...semua ini perlukan perubahan!!! aku yakin akulah orang yang perlu melakukan perubahan ini!

DISINILAH IANYA BERMULA!!!

so..lepas aku duduk dibuain tok masa yang agak lama...aku bangun!!! jalan dan terus berjalan smapai ke destinasi yang aku hendak tujui.....yup!!! aku maseh berdiri dan maseh boleh berjalan....nafas dan semngat yang membezakan kedau2 nya!! sebelum dan selepas!!


war,
farisya nadiah

A.L.O.N.E and T.I.R.E.D

yup...i need help!! but i just dont noe where to find it. cos i really need it.
MAJOR SICKNESS AND IT SPREAD ALL OVER ME!! im at the weakest level of my life. and this is where i meet the damb evil character, EMPTY!!!

i have nothing to offer, im noat a good daughet nor a good sister, im not a good friend, not a good helper, not a good motivator and even worst im not good enough to solve this!!! im just tired and tired to just further this even i noe i have to be strong and stay in this play...but yaa!! for the first time...im at the TIREDEST place of my life. and feel just motionless and and give my body to lay and doing nothing. breathless....I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER TO MYSELF OR TO OTHER!!!

i noe this is wrong...i just need time perhaps. let me be in my lowest level and hoping for me to come up a rise back. but yup....to this momment...i feel scared, alone, and lonely.

i just need someone to just understant every motion i produced without im telling it and tell me infront of my face i can do better and yet im the strongest person than no other can compete.i need someone to just ask me to breath again or even push me hardly to breath again. where i noe im still breathing, it just i feel amn tired to do so. wat can be.....im just a total normal human being. i have my ups and down where people hardly can tell except for myself!!! yup...i surrender for today!!! today i have lost my myself and the power that i always show!! let me be in this "time" for a moment and comtinue mylife back like always...





love,
farisya nadiah

BLENDER

DONT TRY HARD TO BLEND IN COS THERE IS so LAME TO BE A BLEND-ER IN SOCIETY!!


INDIVIDUAL THAT MAKE U BETTER AND BOLD
:) :)
proudly be farisya nadiah musa <3


love,
farisya nadiah

budak Giler.!!

and thier not so GAdget!!! :)

love,
farisya nadiah

sALaNg TioMan wit LoVe

CuRRENTLY!!

love,
farisya nadiah

question : HAVE U DID IT??

HAHAHA.....it is funny though at first time i heard it from ur mouth!!! wat kind of question is it??? and wat it suppose to mean?? haha....and wat worst i cant believe that i heard it from u? FROM u? ya...dis is not funny but yet i found it is more complex than u think it is.

the answer must be something like this:
1) i must be the most KUNOS women ever..
2) im a total geek about it..
3) ......shocking...........
4) YUP!! I NEVER THOUGHT SOMEONE close to me WILL ASKING THIS QUESTION TO ME!!
5) still speechless

yup!! i knoe this kind of funny and normal to u...but through dat journey...im asking myself again and again...should i answer..or should i not!!>???

TRUTH
should i tell u the truth...cos it will be so ridiculous to answer!! wat so special of that matter until u seems so proud to say about it loudly!! becosi know it seems an easy question...but ya...the way u handle and asked it to me...dat really matter!!! i dont noe wat are u thinking.im not a little girl anymore my dear friends. and i dont think dat questions are relevent to us anymore!! wahahah...so small matter but yet when u end up asking me about it with a total judgement, wahaha...i dont see it as a normal QUESTION anymore. haha..do u proudly said dat u have done it and u must be more experiance than me?? should i have to act like that or the question itself show that meaning indeed. huh i cant think more...yup im deal this life with higly imagination of mine. but to be true...im dont consider myself so AMBITIOUS about it!! yup totally...

LIE
hahahaha..i noe wat are u guys thinking...hahaha...im totally kidda of virgin merry and lack of experience in life!!! wahahah....kelakar....the way u projest it to me iu can really guess wat u guys are thinking~~~ wahhaha...kelakar sunnguh la isu nie~~ adei!!! and u guys must be kidding me!! adeyh

but the main point is.........wat is so important for me to answer that question??? to knoe me deeply??? or just to checked out me wether im use to it or not!!! hahaha...and plus all the assum[tion that u guys made to me..haha totally corrupted!!!

FYI!!
my life is not based on how many people i go out and how many people i date!! seriously it is not been my hard time langsung!! plus....yes i have alot of thinngs dat i imagine!!! i use it all the time!!! every single minute!!! BUT to be true...i DONT THINK IM USING ALL MY ENERGY TO THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING FOR THEM!!!! 0.001% seriuosly...i dont have to be worried if i have done wrong to anyone or i have cheating on him or called, pretending,mrs perfect,dump all my ambition just for them and so many to listed!!!!! i got nothin to make me as ammusement to them and let me be in the zone of pleasant. i have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed about myself!!! dat my guarantee...i knoe this is not the time for me yet!!! and one day...i will!!! who know wat gonna happen to our future!!!

actually it is hard for me to describe all the solid feeling about this matter...but ya!!! i think dis is sometime i have to let it out!! and i have mu own way of thinking about thins matter...if u as afriend of mmine...u shouldnt be asking me that question again!!! and throw all the judgement about me dat day....becos i knoe im not a perfect human but im trying to be a human here!!! there always pros and cons to be wat we are!!! i dont have wat u get and u dont have wat are mine!! so i respect u and u should be the same way too!!!

hahaha....i noe it seem a huge matter for me when u read dis....but sadly to say dat...dat day while we are trying to bond to each other and get closer to each other...u make a bad move!! that time i feel far apart from u rather than i feel it any other time!! hahaha..yup!!!


p/s: haha...1st half of this is qiute merepek...so it is due to some emotional ntah ape yang berlaku!!! so and malas to edit!! so...ya!! it is a draft!! wat the hell is wrong with that risght!!!

love,
farisya nadiah