Bebel

before i begin anything, after i read previous post back,i realize, that was not what exactly my feeling that time. im wrote it blindly and all the sentences turn out to be different from what i really meant. haha..yup...im not afraid of commitment...it just a thought that i think i am. i try to find what is wrong with myself. more like a self talking of searching the exact feeling. hehe....

but lantak la.....deep down, i know i understand what i really feel. word couldn't make thing any easier.  This lead to the topic that i want to share today. ntah lately....i really feel  to have a trip.Road trip by means. i wouldn't mind if im alone. i just need a journey. so that i can think and think and come out with solution and peace of mind. i have to dig all the inner feeling of mine and make a selection to it. throw or keep. answer all the inner question that keep on lingering on my mind. fragmentation period i supposed. hmmmm...journey in silent but yet every unspoken word are endlessly understandable with out any explanations made. that is the best feeling ever. i sumpah teringin sekarang. i just wanted to drive or just what to get away in a long road.

a lot of things in life i have mistaken and taking things for granted. or more exact word i try to abandent thing that i don't want to handle in matter of fact. i throw them far away. i pushed them aside and let them be hanging in somewhere that i don't belong in it. that place take me to the next level of life. push me to think back all the things that i don't want to think but no matter what, now i have to deal with it. it is still apart of your life. until when i should pushed them away from your life and let time decide? i just couldn't give answer to any of that questions. i have non. i done even realize about it until now.

give me sometimes. i now times will always be my greatest teacher in live. i need them to be patient cos im obviously the slowest to learn. student that need thing to be thought step by step.im like reading a b c all over again this time. yup, life is always a learning field. no matter day or nite or even young or old. a lot of different path that i need to explore and experience. i want it.

i want to be alive. i want to live. and i want to able to breath. i got enough to hold my breath to the thing that i do or did. i want to be free from all this. i want to put the passion in me. i don't want to hold back no more. i want to throw all the burden inside to something more meaningful.i want to create a dream. i want to live in that dream and i want it to be the dream that i always imagine i achieved. i know it must start from nothing. create thing that can make thing possible path for you to venture. i love to see u in that phase again. i just love to see the hard work. hard work that u able to smile and appreciate every single breath in it. i want to feel the excitement again. i want to fall in love again in everything that i used to love. hey..give me one more chance.

create the situation..and create the zone back. be in it as deep as u can. explore your strength and develop it to something more big than this. u just know what to do with it. that is my promise. the excited and feel free to free your mind. the journey is in you. u already connecting the dot .

u r the designer of your own dream. u design dream for people to dream. while that dream hold us to reality and eventually, that dream is our reality.

love,
Farisya