" Hello my friend and we meet again..."
Just a random song crossing my head while im typing this... currently thinking. it is either to be or not to be a good friend that witnessing their best-friend big wedding day..yup im one of the bridesmaids. Recently there was a lot unfortunate event occurred in my life that i wish i will not dealing with it again. Though i know it is not a big deal for someone else, but for me it does. Two days ago, ya ive lost my tab. My only latest gadget that i can afford after ive sink-in my Blackberry. i felt terribly horrible because i bought that tab for my birthday gift and it is not even one month yet! i feel so bad. that is the only thing that i can link to the world. ive lost it while eating at bangsar the other day. huh!! i cant even take care of things anymore then how should i take care of myself then. i know ive seems a little bit emotional right now even after a few days of lost it. hello it is my only present that i can afford for myself for the time being.
Back to the wedding, yup tomorrow is Joy's & Shrek wedding at Seremban. i feel so bad currently how to make it to the wedding. im thinking about how am i gonna be there on time without make her thinking that im late on purpose or even make myself thinking that im a bad girlfriend. if only you know joy how im feeling bad right now. Ntah. i need to plan my day for tomorrow since it is also my second interview session which is essay writing. i hope im doing well for that. i really hope it went well. im all mix up.with the money issue car issue, unfinished issue, self issue and so on that i have now...im feeling really bad that i cant explain. i don't expect people to understand me for that. i don't expect at all.
i know i should change this feeling for a better day ahead or even for a better journey to meet the future me, but i dont know it seem so hard to push that wall. i am trying crawlingly. ive that plan in my head already. i just need a jumpstart all over again. i know i can. even everyone told me that i can do it. also i believe that i can do it. Arghh...that emotion! i just hate you badly right now. you are so strong that i can defeat you even by an inch yet. i hope soonest ill conquer the rest of you soul. i really hope so.
i know i need to study for my essay tomorow..but i dont know what to study. and i wish my luck is with me. Amin. Allah i know u heard me right but if you dont bless me for that, you the only one who know the best for me perfectly. for joy i think, i need to be there no matter what. no excuses! i know. im still thinking how. please let me be.
love,
Farisya Musa
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