Precious Gift

When you know what she is thinking,
While u can do nothing to comfort her,
When you hate everything that cross your mind,
And how you clearly saw she was sad,
What you can do....?
What you should do...?
Or even what you should expect...?

Im here again, watching her face asleep.
It just scary for what cross my mind now.
A thought for one morning in future..
How sick i can be that day when i wake up...
Realise what ive imagine today is so real..
She is the most precious gift ive got.

Love,
Farisya

We Used To Be..

Yup how crazy it takes when what u need to do is just to keep on living. The hardest was lo let past behind.

When the only way of syrviving are just let go and ignore everything that are not our current priorities. Then, changes occur surely.

Return to the old memories that we have gone trough togather make me u realised that time definately was our biggest enemy. Hate it or deal it with it. It just a cruel pattern in life.

While that memories haunt us, we have to keep on surviving. That when future introduce thier name. What is next?

In between, static momento, stagnent period. Huh..what is more beautifull rather than an exit to it?

And what ever it is, this post r just a random thought!

Love,
Farisya Nadiah

Bebel

before i begin anything, after i read previous post back,i realize, that was not what exactly my feeling that time. im wrote it blindly and all the sentences turn out to be different from what i really meant. haha..yup...im not afraid of commitment...it just a thought that i think i am. i try to find what is wrong with myself. more like a self talking of searching the exact feeling. hehe....

but lantak la.....deep down, i know i understand what i really feel. word couldn't make thing any easier.  This lead to the topic that i want to share today. ntah lately....i really feel  to have a trip.Road trip by means. i wouldn't mind if im alone. i just need a journey. so that i can think and think and come out with solution and peace of mind. i have to dig all the inner feeling of mine and make a selection to it. throw or keep. answer all the inner question that keep on lingering on my mind. fragmentation period i supposed. hmmmm...journey in silent but yet every unspoken word are endlessly understandable with out any explanations made. that is the best feeling ever. i sumpah teringin sekarang. i just wanted to drive or just what to get away in a long road.

a lot of things in life i have mistaken and taking things for granted. or more exact word i try to abandent thing that i don't want to handle in matter of fact. i throw them far away. i pushed them aside and let them be hanging in somewhere that i don't belong in it. that place take me to the next level of life. push me to think back all the things that i don't want to think but no matter what, now i have to deal with it. it is still apart of your life. until when i should pushed them away from your life and let time decide? i just couldn't give answer to any of that questions. i have non. i done even realize about it until now.

give me sometimes. i now times will always be my greatest teacher in live. i need them to be patient cos im obviously the slowest to learn. student that need thing to be thought step by step.im like reading a b c all over again this time. yup, life is always a learning field. no matter day or nite or even young or old. a lot of different path that i need to explore and experience. i want it.

i want to be alive. i want to live. and i want to able to breath. i got enough to hold my breath to the thing that i do or did. i want to be free from all this. i want to put the passion in me. i don't want to hold back no more. i want to throw all the burden inside to something more meaningful.i want to create a dream. i want to live in that dream and i want it to be the dream that i always imagine i achieved. i know it must start from nothing. create thing that can make thing possible path for you to venture. i love to see u in that phase again. i just love to see the hard work. hard work that u able to smile and appreciate every single breath in it. i want to feel the excitement again. i want to fall in love again in everything that i used to love. hey..give me one more chance.

create the situation..and create the zone back. be in it as deep as u can. explore your strength and develop it to something more big than this. u just know what to do with it. that is my promise. the excited and feel free to free your mind. the journey is in you. u already connecting the dot .

u r the designer of your own dream. u design dream for people to dream. while that dream hold us to reality and eventually, that dream is our reality.

love,
Farisya

Be Positive

perasaan untuk menulis lewat ini sangat kuat...
mungkin hendak perkatakan sesuatu yang mungkin sendiri tidak dapat tafsirkan lagi..
dan tidak mungkin pula dapat ditafsirkan oleh orang lain selain diri sendiri...
itulah kebiasaannye.. apakan daya.

lately, alot of things happen in my life, Ahdan Qhaleef is born and i get a new job. in a way, that is what i have planed before. hmm...yup but now i feel sick of all the commitment that i have to fave. i don't know..im sick! im sick and i cant handle commitment. i cant be committed with things or i just need to learn it. is that the reason or this that hikmah behind all this? ya....im sure it is. it is not the matter of i cant do things, it just i don't believe that i can do it. i don't give me time n space to let it Me be in that zone. i know im better than this if i wanted it to be success the i want. i have to love what i need to do! it just i need a reminder...i need someone to remind me when i lost in time and i cant do it. i just to be reminded. that all i need.

i want to believe what i have to believe...i want to put my all. i want to be appreciated...in a away,i have to gain the trust.i have to keep on giving a road to it. no pain no gain right? hmmmm... i have to set my mind back...this is not something that i cant quit the next morning if i wanted to. where should i go?and where i should stand? i have to find it myself. sometimes i know what i want.and sometimes i don't. sometimes im deeply knowing about myself and out of sudden in don't at all. huh.....please tell me that i can do it or else im hopeless.

as u said before in the previous entry....i need to get a foundation first. WORK or JOB! now u are in it....but this is not the safes place. u need to find your strength...give your full attention to it. stay focus and MAKE THE SACRIFICES  to succeed. that is the only way...that i know. no shortcut and no cheat. face it with your heart and lets rock the world. that the only way that can help you to the top. give your 200 per cent in it. im sure u cant feel more comfortable than this. im praying for that.

and one thing left, i know that i have been neglecting my duties as khalifah in this world...i know that.i should be more ashamed than im now. because i know it but im living in denial...i just refuse to do it cos im very hard makean excuses to all the matterof it. i must not. huh......

be more positive than this now. have a bright day tomorrow and live life with out excuses no more. PEACE

love,
farisya

Listed

Falling Slowly, Best Original Song Oscar Winner 2007, from movie Once.

“….the fact that we're standing here tonight, the fact that we're able to hold this, it's just to prove no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible. And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream and don't give up. And this song was written from a perspective of hope, and hope at the end of the day connects us all, no matter how different we are”

p/s : it say something.

Love,
Farisya

Sunrise till Dawn

" if u failed to plan, you plan to failed."

i guess that quote make sense for me now! yup it say what it is, directly. stab me deep. furthermore, it is what am i facing right now. As what as im  concern, there's a lot of thing in my mind that i wish i want in life, but it stays as what it is, WISH! hoping for it to come through wouldn't make it any better because i know hope without any step that lead you to your wish wouldn't make it possible to achieved. this is not a world of all your word may come true. this is not heaven or any wonderland or magic-land. this is world that requires to work, very hard, ups and downs and achieved your goals. Sacrifices have to be made. But, what is your goals? and where is your sacrifices?

i didnt see any. im afraid you have lost your own dream and goals. but that wouldn't make tings worst. you can always set again. you can always built your goals again. Trying to make things possible again. so what your plan?

make money is the most important ting right now because i know without money i cant go no where. Only with money i can do what ever i wish i want. So for money sake, i need to have a job.  by mean permanent job, not like what you did now. make it more stable than what it is now. Than slowly try to achieved what you want in life and most importantly try your hard to keep in-touch with your first plan. Business. that is what i really wish that i can make it. i dont want to live working with others my entire life. Just to get money and just to built my foundation first. later it would be another story.

Secondly, i don't you ever put on hope in others anymore. You the only one that can help yourself, to get out from what you r in now. your mission and their mission is not in the same page. let works your life together with me, your soul. hehe...let synchrony you lazy ass, your heavy brain and i your soul. Built your life back. face the world and don't be afraid of them anymore. expectation can lead you to frustration but now forget about frustration. that is actually a thing that u need to be away from. nothing else. Therefore work your ass up! dont be lazy and relax. Summer is over! 

Thirdly, be selfish as selfish as u can. Because now, it is time for your to get out from your comfort zone. u need to be focus. whatever decision you make is for your own good. most important thing it is for your future. That is what you have to sacrifices. your time and your life. Only you basis. focus on thing that u NEED to do cos you have to built a solid foundation first in order to achieved anything that you want, your ambition. life is crazy and life is alone-shit thing. so bare with it. no matter how hard it is you have to make your steps towards something that beneficial to yourself. not others. im sorry, u have to. GET OUT FROM COMFORT ZONE! that is your sacrifices.

Last but not least, get your confidence back. do something that boost up your confident level. New cloth, new mission, new idea, new shoes, new health strategies, read a lot, oxygenated,  keep fit, work out and alot more to list. Make new friends, make new hobby, search for overseas info and so on. i believe in that ways you can make your life busy. either way u can help to encourage yourself to a positive thinking and 'waste a time' to think about something healthy. it helps you to think good and feel good at the same time. yeay!

hey, BODY AND SOUL, lets works together. be a best mate, the best among all. Help out whenever you need help. im sure you have a bright day ahead. let sunrise and dawn be our witness. :)

feel great,

Farisya

November Rain

early today, earth was celebrating November with a breezy rain. Rain that shows us ow grateful to still living in this planet peacefully including me. im glade im still here. but that rain get me  a bit emotional. how things goes too fast. less than 2 month will be letting 2012 behinds. that even scares me a bit. ill become 26th then, left my 25 years behind. ive been here almost aprox half of my life...and will be facing another half insyallah. im anxious at the same time emotional about it. why? hmmm...maybe there are still some dot of my life have not yet link n connected. im curious. that is about. until when the curiosity will be my roots in life, im not sure! hmmm....surprise me with a good gift and with a precious moment. im glad i still have some magic and more show to witness. i need my eyes to open wide and my heart to accept everything gracefully. I am happy wit all te destiny that have been marks as my journeys. i hope it made me different and for more importantly, it make me, Myself! :)

November Rain. i just in love with the name. i don't know it just seems what it is. it feel perfect with each other an compliment each other. i feel peace. even when middle of the nite like dis. im glad i still have time for myself talking and caring about myself. Yup, maybe i have not realize it before that i have given a perfect life. i have great family, i have them as my support,  i have good health and i have enough ideas about what i need to do in life. what are more grateful more than that right?

i get emotional easily. i don't know, i am. im sure that is exactly i am. what you see outside is actually just a layer of me that i share with everyone else. people who know me, they know what i am actually and that im rarely share with anyone. but to make people believe about it on the other hand wouldnt be any matter to me. it is still me in or out, all or half of it. but ya....sayu is what it is now! i don't know maybe because i will letting 2012 left me behind or im excited dump the immature memories far behind and meet my another half in future 2013. :)

November Rain,
Farisya