What You Want What You See

It is either we notice or not, always remember, what you want inside is actually what you see. Yup I'm in that situation now. I'm glad. Alhamdullilah. I love the way they see thing and I love being with this kind of crowd. They didn't saphocated me with something that I hate to think of. They actually generated my idea and the way I see thng within myself. Most importanly, I love the feeling of this feelings. From there, I know where I'm heading to. Though it may have a lot of difficulties coming, but I know I'm happy with the way it make me happy.

I love how I'm not faking up with the details of the conversation. I don't pretend that I understand that conversation. I don't neet to worry if I they want me to understand that conversation where actually I don't really care. And most of all, I know that conversation with all of you will have a fullstop and will always gonna end soon. That is the worst among all. You wil always be the corner of that chapter. I just need a coma instead of fullstop. But for the time being, a need from me no longer an important mission. The thing that I get and how I take it to mylife is my concern. Maybe that is the best formula that I get from now.

I don't need to be ashamed of not intended for needed anything. Anything is enough as nothing to me.that is my version of something I guess. Perfect in imperfection. Love that since ages. Back to the main topic, as I siad it is clear when you really put your sense at the exact place. Observing life I would say. I might be crazy along the journey but at least I know and will find who am i rather than faking up just only being template  of human being.

Good nite goodnight...we will meet again soon. Promised!

Love,
Farisya

Small Soldier Battle

Hello myself,

How crazy I am now. I know. Have been avoiding to write for almost few moths. Trying hard to control n hiding this crazy feeling from anyone including you blog. Why? You r just a mute blog that can even talk to me back. Am I right? Ntah maybe I just don't want to hear myself complaining about my life again. But unfortunately, I can't. This is  my limit I think.

Fuh...I'm at startbucks now. I've just comeback from a wordrobe survey at mimpi kita. There is project thatbim currenltly doing. Just a small job in between this crazy emotion of mine. I'm glad I'm doing this after few months of being Wilson try to avoiding this crazy world. Is this wotld crazy or it just me who are too weak to facr the world.

So back to the story, why and what happen today? Starbuks really usefull nowdays. That lady in green who have stars in her head just give me a second chance to live today. Recently I had my first accident. Yup my first accident ever!!! There are a lot of drama in it. I can't directly report to the police because of my license are death. Why I didn't renew it? I don't meant to do that on purpose ok. Before that I had my saman from JPJ while I'm still on my P license. So that I have to pay a sum of amount that I cant aford that time or even now. So I let it be. Un till few days ago, after that accident happen  the plot of this story have getting  worst n worst. And unfortunately today, something bad happen again.

I wonder why now while I'm typing this. Is this a sign  of god trying to talk to me. Is Allah trying to teavh me something. What is it dear Allah? Am I a bad person here? If I'm too blind to you or if Im ti deaf to you , please let me see with my heart not my eyes or  if I'm deaf ,please let me hear with your heart not my ears. It seem all the road you given ti me seems hardly to walk through. Or. Need to push that wall and fly.?

But whatever it is, I need to get going. Buy that pembaris and unlock that small soldier n getbback to the road.amin.

Love,
Farisya