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im sorry im an ungratefull daughter!!! i cant give ur MAMA!!!

bismillah........

lately, my mama are not in a well condition!! i dunt noe y..but she seems not at her best lately!!!sometimes she wasokay n normal but sometimes she get in cold and shivering.i checked hertemperaturebut it normal...when time she was not ok...she cant stop calling her mum which i hate it!! i feel like im not a good daughter!! cos i cant give her dat...she is not wit us anymore...long2 time ago!!!

rigth before im writing this blog...she asked me a favor..massage her body.how can i reject it while she is the who will be by my side when imnot feeling well!!! it must devil if im not doing it!! so i did!! but she always keep on calling her mum...i cant help her!! I CANT GIVE U DAT MA!!..where i can find that in this world!!

still...at the timebeing..she still keep calling her mum!!wat should i do???

i hate to say this...but y she didnt called my dads name....instead her mum???

is she going to die sooner????hmmmmmmm...............................................................................................................................................................

let her in peace!!!!!

T.T

always n forever love maa!!!

DO WE TRYING UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER???

Bismillah........

hmm....learn a lesson n opinion need to be thrown now!!! here!!! where else?? DUHHH!!!

before we go there...just wanna inform to FARISYA NADIAH, ur pending mission was finally completed today!! wat a blast!! hahahah....

back to the main point....im a 21 years old, young n ambitious women andalot to explore in her life( still itrying to adjust from girl to women) and on the other hand, a daughter of a couple who really love me and still think that im sweet little daugther.

to be truth...im very ambitious and really hardwork to get wat i want in life.im not an easily give up young lady and not a passive human being. im adventorous and really comfort in travelling, no matter in a medium of place, situation,emotion, opinion or time.i really love to explore thing so that i can put an based for me to be more intelect when it come to deal in everything. i really enjoy to pressured myself when it comes to get something, so from there i really apriciate my hard work and feel more confident about myself. in the other word....im a women of high expectation in life and in myself.

on the other hand....at home, im a youngest daugther, and the 4th member of 5 siblings in a nearly perfect family.one sister, 2 big brothers and on younger brother. i live in a comfort zone.all meel are prepared, a comfy home, a place to hangout in front of television and threated so well by my parents.i never make thing that make them hate me,im doing well in my study, i did join sport,i did obey what they say, and did the work that given to me.but at some point, esp..in making thing for myself,in some way i still treated like a small young girl that are still playing around with doll.still have curfew though sometimes i didnt follow it, cant suggest or give opinion in something and many to be listed here.in the end...i fell like i cant do nothing for myself and have a limit in thingsand alwasy,and always have to obey wat they say until i cant reach wat i really want.



it grows tension in me of everything i do....I HATE IT

though sometime, to be truth im always trying so hard to understand them and put me in their shoes about all this things.but in the end when i look at it, i think im the one who always try to understand them.then how about me....i someday will have to work on my own, and right now i have to find extra pocket money for myself and i always have to beeasy going in my work enviroment form now.i have to explore a lot to give me an idea how the work life will be.my field require me to understand people,well in comunication and be the latest among the latest.it wat i need to be.but when the problem like this appear...it really make me worthless and easily give up to do all the things that i have to be do.cos i really love my family. i do. and i really didntwanna hurt him and really wanna make them reallise that im not just simply wasting my time for just something dat is worthless.i really2 need them to realise that.

i can see the wall between us become ticker and ticker day by day!! LETS BREAK IT!!


so....wat i should do in making this clear and understandable by not hurting anyone. i have to sacrifise.

im too emotional or they taken me for granted??

first of all....im such a non consistent blogger, i now, my bad !!!
but im trying to be as consistent as i can...n do help me!!!

hmm....after one semester has gone, or tobe truth "after 3 years of diploma has gone" , im facing n handling the degree me now!!!
but that is to early to story yet!! it just an introduction.....

lets see my point of view about wat happen rite after the semester break begin!!!
as usual, every end of the year i will contributing my sports talent to uitm sri iskandar to be thier representative as a netballer. we will compete with every uitm in malaysia including uitm malaysia(main campus). as usual my holiday was busy about traning and all sports schedule that i have to followed every day. morning i have to woke up early breakfast then training/fitness then lunch. after that training again or friendly match.then at nite we have meetings n sometimes even trianing.so wat else we wanna do at nite rather than sleep tight n gain enegy for the next day.

but as a special fwen n hoping be the best for them....im rather think of them than sleep n gain energy.i spent the nite talking n talking though sometime i hope they understand me.but i really didnt think about it after all...i would be so mean if i do dat.but not until the day things happen.

they have to settle something at uitm n for the first time they have to come to uitm during semester break.y should i wanna be here if i have nothing to do??? of course it have to be something!!! then....before she came, im kept my head thought about how she gonna make it here cos she was alone, was she ok, was she dat wat she dis......it all over my head!! i asked here if she already there give me a call ill pick her up. before she came....i supposed to went out out with my team but i had left them behind to fetched HER up!!!!! then i rang her asked her where wa she..she said wait im near there..then i msg again to let her nknow where am i but after i called her so many times thens she called me back said tha she already at the padang with SOMEONE which happen known her very well i think (sarcasticly speaking).she asked me to wait for her then she pick me up!! hmmmmmm.....im starting to heard my heartbeat beating hardly.owh wat kind of excuse she should given to me...becos i have no cars topick her up!! then too bad to me.im sory im not good enough to be ur fwen becos i have no car to pick u.owh i forgot it is holiday..n imnot used to sun anymore.forget it!!!!this kind of situation happen repeatedly.same as my last semester break.we promised to went out togather for an summer event at pj.then thing hapen same like this...i keep waiting for her...leave my other fwens behind..kep waiting for her again while im alone....then called her but never replied...then end up she going wit someone else!!! it so FUCK UP!!!! or im just to blind to see it at the first place!!!

then im started wanna keep away from her...cos i just never wanna make my heart hurt anymore. so im started to put all the team spirit in my head!!!NETBALL NETBALL NETBALL!!! i didnt wanna think about it anymore....but as a bff (dats y i hate that word) i do wish smtime they understand n support me not only literally but phisically.i do hope sometime they said it out loud my name AT the corner of the court. but i never put my hope at high cos i noe they will never do it!! NEVER NEVER!!! but to bad for me..dat day i do hope as tiny as bacteria that she will went to the padang to support me COS that will be the last time i played netball for UITM or even last for mylife...cos my other fwen who didnt play was also came to support me!!! but to bad it was a broken imagination wit empty hopes. but it didnt give me any heart feeling after all....that afternoon she went to the rugby place to see the someone that i've told before cheering for his x team played.as a bestbwen....wat do u think dat i have to feel????? wat should i react?? n wat should i say??? i have say nothing n simply ignored it.but i cant lie to myself n to my heart that im ok......so i kept my self silent n silent n as quiet as ican. mission acomplish for her.CONGRATULATION ONCE AGAIN!!! TQ

but silent will not give u any satisfation rite.n sometime silent can seems so loud.louder than u ever imagine.I HATE THE WAY U MANIPULATE MY HEART N MY SINCERITY!!! in the end she went back to kl alone with out im saying good bye.i pretend sleeping though i noe she waiting for me to wake up.i didt sms her anything.silent.untill that nite she asked me a favour but i refused then she shown anger to me....just for a tiny problem.untill then im satisfied!!! congratulation to me!!!

hahahah...ive been totally keep on my imagination flow with out any comercial break rite.hahahahah.....

then...today....finally she asked me smtg......ape khabar?? cos during 7 days we never sms called or even ym to each other,contrast wit before it hapen. then i put my ego down...text her back!! maybe how its end or there is a serial story....hahahahahah....

anything happen for a reason!!

it keep me stronger n love my selfmore!!!


LOVE URSELF ALWAYS BETTER N DONT HATE PEOPLE COS THEY WILL HATE U MORE!!!

exam result!!

hahahah.....though my result trun sket but i still satisfied ngan wat i did dis semester!!
actually bole naik lagi but disebabkn my etr dapat b so....it really buat my pointer jatuh!!
heheheheh.....but alhamdullillah!! syukur....

me n THINGS!!!

sometime i do hope they understand me. they know the real me. not just a small little girl with a bunch of Barbie doll, but as a human being who need successful achievement in life.what im doing now are all about what i want in the future. im in a way of planning to be perfect.not more than that.i dont want to burden them though i noe i already did it.


i really want to be good in my future and as a daughter. but im not a little girl who still breast feeding and still hang around your chest, follow every single move you make. my stupid and teenage time was a past. it is so last season. now im looking for a bright sight as a human and hoow to sruggle in this complicated world independantly.



everything u did to me was so wonderful and benefit to me. it grows in me and built me as who i am today.i apologize and will keep apologizing to both of u for the mistake that ive done or will do. both of u did a great job, wonderfull instead. i really hope one day, i can give back what u gave to me and repay back all the hardwork and sacrifaise that u have to make for me. and i realy2 make that we can share the successfulness of mine. do pray for me. time will be the witness. love for u guys will never end.

love u always...without you im nothing.

tribute to my sayang,
FATIMAH NOR BT ABDUL LATIF and MUSA B HASHIM

REALise!!!

today 03 jun 2008

believe it or not...friends never remain in our life forever.they comes and goes time to time.so for us, what we need to do is find the true meaning of friend.appreciate and enjoy the moment and second while we are together. while they are here besides us, they make us flying to the sky,free,unpredictable and most important is we are not alone.

but when time to time...we may start our own journey in life. different, busy, complicated and our own drama to be act in!! from there we have to admit that we lost each other and never can share the moment of emotion togather anymore. we remains alone, quiet and small. we get to the starting point all over again. be the "you" and just "u".

so to friends, love until the love still there. always love u.dont ever let this moment end without nothing. cheerish every moment we had n will have. so when time goes quiet and silent, there is still "us" seen, the loud heard,the laughter break the "zone", though just seeing a peice of old picture.


tribute to my dearest:



THANK YOU FOR BE THERE....!!! XOXO

P.RAMLE MUSICAL FEVER

hye n assalamualikum...this holiday really stressed me out, seriusly. for those who doesnt know me really well they may see me as a passive. i cant pleased all the people around me. so to be true, i hate holiday as like what im facing now. holidays, make me feel like im such a losser n no mission in live. dont know why? it just me...so i try to fulfill my day with something that realy make me feel dat im an usefull to no matter who? hmmm....so to be exact to what i wanna say now is that, i once again have a oppurtinity to witness a theatre, an art piece from datin tiara jacqulina about music, love and inspiration of tan sri p.ramlee, which is P.RAMLEE THE MUSICAL. before ive been there by an invitation from my brother,we been togather wit my mummy n sis but today, i went with my beloved friend noorhashimah, cheah,and acap. what a enjoyable nite i have dat day though ive seen it for the second time. all the wave of mused and amazed of the music and creadibility of their actors make my hair stand.

actually, the theater programe today was unexpected, suddenly i received a call from syima and she ask me because we made a promise before to see it together(last time i went with my family).so for not letting the tix by an empty space...plus i love the show so much, without a second thought, i say yes. hmmm.....

from left: me, jea, yong, and mummy.

THE BEST PART

though the first season, p.ramlee was act by shaun ghazi, but musly ramlee give the bestfor this season.his extra asset is that her appearence n voice are exxactly the same as p.ramlee. it is like i watch a real p.ramlee on stage. love the part when p.ramlee divorced wit norizan n he sing a song.(dunt noe the song title).it was so sad n show how p.ramlee really love his wife.

other than that, when norizan and p.ramlee went to watch his first movie, penarik becha at theater to see the respon by his fans by him selves. that part was so immotional and the set was so amazing.i was so amazed.

the funny part was went saloma n p.ramlee are together in the film an make a scene in for the song. after the scene they get together at taman.saloma are so excited but still malu2 kucing.
"kat cnie banyak nyamuk la" hahah...dat the funny part!!
hmmmm.....congratulation

aand the best part was the first n the last scene.the scene are the same. it show that p.ramlee really love wat is he doing n he is so pleased if he now that his fans love wat is he doing.

from left: me, shima, shac and acap

this time p.ramlee ngan isterinya, norizan but saloma dah lame dah taste ngan die.


BRAVOOO.....wat an excelent team work.hahaha,,love to see it again.n again!! congratulation to liza hanim for the excellent acting n wonderfull voice. she is the best among the best.

CALL TIME!!!

yes...like i always said..."IT'S ALL ABOUT TIME". now i know i should move forward...and NO TURNING BACK. it is a call time. so what i need to do now is go further for my future, grab all the opportunity ahead me, make action, and do it the best for the excellent result. so now is the new journey of mine. step by step i am nearer to what i want. AMIN.

mimpi JAMIE??

bismillahirahmanirahim................
aiyo...
normally i x tdo around dis tme but today i tdo pkol lapan.mmg wierd time tdo i skang.cuti2 nie mmg trouble la...cos mmg x der ape nak buat plus buhsan. then i tdo rite after kuar keta dari balek dari melawati tgk my auntie balek cuti from arab. so, i tdo lar...
mimpi yg pelbagai i alami. first about my fwen aka my roomate yg name nyer noorhashimah bt zainul hashim. ntah lately nie i bengang ngan die cos dah lame gile i try to contact die but x dapat.dah la before cuti sem tuh i x saying goodbye yg proper ngan die.SHIT!!

aku tgu kau kowt...skali tau2 barang kau dah x der!!ceh hoping nak gossip2 jap.but to bad..!!!
so..back to my mimpi.....i mimpi die ader trouble wit her love life but die x bgtau i.so i discoverded sendiri..ntah knape ntah i rase mcm tuh!! details about die nyer mimpi i cant say here but ader la sedikit argument between die ngan i!! hmmm... then i siap bagi advice yg sampai skang i ingt.hmm...ntah, sometime i rase dis mimpi is the superficial connection between me and her.ker i miss her? hahahah...syema..syema..aku la pak ckp camnie!! kah2... maybe?

then....after episode tuh..aku pon trus la tdo!! mimpi yg lain plak dtg...hahah..kali ni menakutkan cos aku mimpi pasal puan jamie kesayangan ku!! ahaha...die bagi advice pasl buat inspiration aper sume!! ahahah....menakutkan giler babi!!! aku dah la x buat paper lagi about my next project!! haiyak...MATILAH AKU!!!warghhh....hmmm.....pastu..ntah i ader argue ngan puan anize la plak...hehheheeh mende la aku nie...jarang2 mimpi..mimpii bende nie la plak..uhuuu...cube lar yg best2 sket..adoi la!!
ka la...nothing else i wanna say rather then.....

BASUH LA KAKI SEBELUM ANDA MASUK KE KAMAR UNTUK BERADU...(aku nie kuar keta jerk main henyak jerk atas katil ..)

im so inlove with her song!!!!

and him to....MODE:jazz and blues

DEAR DIARY...

DEAR DIARY OF MINE....HOLD ME IN ONE

STAY FOREVER...STAY TO THE END

introduction

hello and hi.....

assalamualikum!!!!!!!!

bissmilahirahmanirahim...

..................INTRODUCTION....................

hey..actually i dah lame nak post dis blog but the whole drama of my life n priority in life make me cant make it until today...ini pun i have my own sweet time back after all the work done...that means im in a holiday month!! hahaha...but wait...next semester need me to make research within dis sweet time n relaxing time of mine!! unfair kn???huhu...naik2 sem jerk dah kene present for my "BABY PROJECT". aper yg i kene buat n then proceed,then produce it!! warghhh stress plak tetiba....
ahahha...u guys sure blur kn aper yg i merapu all this while...so this is wat introduction all about.
first of all let me introduce my self..my name is actually a combination from my mums name and my fathers name...FARISYA NADIAH BT MUSA. FA is frommy mum which is FATIMAH NOR BT ABDUL LATIF n SHA is a nick name for my dad CHA...it is from MUSA B HASHIM..so when i was born..they decided to name me after their name..so that is how farisya come from. hmmm n now im in 21 years old...IM OLD ALREADY...haiyak!!

SEMESTER 3
hmmm....ok about the "BABY PROJECT" i inform before is wat i need to do to be qualified as a fashion diploma holder which is called diploma final project. every semester we need to produce one outfit according to the theme given by our lecturer. for semester 3, we have to produce something that is beyon our imagination of wat people already wear and out of the box. or in other way of speak and the fashion term we called it as avant garde. this piece are actually produced for an idea to let people know the limit of art for the designer. its not a wearable peice, just to appriciated as an art.




this is some of the research that i made for this assignment.inspired by TUBASTREA FULKENERI

this is some of the sketches for the project, color research, line research, silhouette research and so on .
this is the final 3d that i produce for this semester, my outfit have to be include technology, so i put some lights in it, camera to the beg, sound and music to the skirt belt.haha...fun rite?

SEMESTER 4

and then when it cometo semester 4, we have to produce something that is wearable and market demand. and it also limit to the categories of casual wear. my class have to produce the outfit from the theme of animation.so that after research by research, i have choose FUTURAMA animation. from the animation i have been highlight leela as my inspiration. the imagination of mine of wat kind of women would wear my outfit. LEELA are one eye alien dat is tough and very intelligent and also expert about self protection. but dis is all can be seen in her phisically, but her emotion, she a ctually are not comfortable to socialise wit other people and very low confidence in herself. this is because she is ashamed because she have only one eyes.but yet, she overcome her weakness by doing something positive about her life.

this is for those who didnt know about FUTURAMA...this is actually 18 sx animation. up there are FRY ( leela boyfriend n normal human being ), BENDER ( alchoholic robot), LEELA ( shy,inteligent, though but have one eye)

LEELA is so perfect compare to the other creature in this animation cartoon, and she is the one who can save the earth dat time.she nearly can do anything and have a problem solving skills.

So, from the research dat ive done, i have produce one outfit dat consist an element of leela's era of life and her attitude. so i present to u guys, THE FUTU RUGGED.

HAHA....KELAKARNYER AKU DIS TIME!!! GEMOKS!!

N yg best nyer dis time...my design disukai oleh lecturer..alhamdullilah..dah la dis semeter was my azabest semester ever!!! whahahahah.....so finished about part 4.alhamdullilah everything going smoothly and fine.

SEMESTER 5

so now about aper yg baru terjadi sebelum nie!!! my part 5 design...info about wat i have to do dis semester is...TRADISIONAL in EVENING TO COCTAIL DRESS using SONGKET as the material. at first i was afraid to face dis because i know dat my skill to sew are so low, jahet biase2 pon tesenget sane tersenget sini, so im so scared plus SONGKET tuh....warghhh!!!

mase i buat researh i have no idea at all aper yg i nak buat to my design.im freezed.maybe still sedap cuti or maybe "dress" yg membuatkn i terbeku.or maybe pasal TRADISIONAL KOWT. but after day by day, i realised i kene push myself. x kn nak mengalah di separuh perjalanan kowt. nak x nak i have to face it jugak no matter wat!! so nie lah yg terjadi apabila org yg terpakse membuat design tanpe mengikut naluri hati but mengikut dateline yg diberi. x ikut kang kene hauk ngan lecturer yg sgt di takuti kate2nyer.PEDAS owh..

so nie la aper yg i produced but all this are rejected by my lecturer.buat lain katernyer. kembangkan lagi.hmmm wat to do sume kene di buat baru, mmg banyak la ink digunakan.but actually i main tipu sbb ade antara design i x gune marker, i gune watercolor n chinese ink.hahaha...budget gile!!! but wat matter is the result kan? haha...

so after a while...after struggling buat mende nie...nak muntah gak la i buat the design.ntah brape ntah yg i dah produced.lebey 100 kowt.so...ader la satu nie.kire the chosen one la nie. FINALLY, dipilih jugak designnyer!!! hmmm....so after tuh dibuakan la pattern nyer dan dijahetla kan bajunyer....at last it come out like in dis picture below.

hmm..the green one is my ROOMATE nyer design inspired from kemban. n the yellow outfit is mine. inspired from MINANGKABAU. so at last, i manage to complete dis task.ceh macam project runaway la plak.heheh..berangan...actually not only a task..but more then dat, tanggungjawab.hmmm..so i manage to complete it in succes. yeah....YEAH!! once again my lecturer suke my design n selected to a show, which is JUNIOR SHOW for DIPLOMA SHOW.haha..congratulaion sya..u made it!! and next event which is coloboration with EN.FAIZAL, our ex-lecturer of uitm perak, where now he has been transfered to uitm shah alam.this show are not confirmed yet n will be held around june. wish all the best.

ok...all of this is my minor assignment.so now im having my semester break. but i have already given a task to complete for next semester project, my "BABY PROJECT".SO, i still have no idea wat to do and wat to research n not even starsted yet.so i hope wat ever it is, i'll manage to do it and also make it of most memorable experience in my life as a fashion student in uitm perak. and yet, of course i hope dat my 'BABY PROJECT' will succes.AMIN

so, in next blog, i will let u guys noe wat exactly happen before i started to dive in this fashion life, whereby at the first place, i dont even want n expected me in this journey as an art student. haha....wat a karma. ok later ha..

daaaa....assalamualaikum.

peoples i left behind!!!!!!!!!

people....the sunshine will never be the same!!!
smetime its dark and sometime it wonderfull...lets face it!!!
i hate the way i see u guys before..i put u guys at the point of NOTHING!!!
but yes its true i never really meant dat....u guys are the one that teach everything!!!
every single thing....!!! so i wanna have it all back again!!
let me be in u guys again!!
i do better now!!!