ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! u know wat it means right??? it is hard too let it out here by words but i try my very hard to let it out so that i would be more less burden than im before. hmm i really thankful that i ve u BLOG!!! hiks...
let start with matter in home which related to school and related to me, MYSELF!!!
for the time being that ive been silent, im in away of processing myself to adjust my surrounding which i think is the biggest matter here. house and working environment are the different places for myself. HOME, is a place that i lepak, tido, and hibernating. while my working area are the place i stayed up long nites, talk about work, idea and many thing to be shared with my colleague. but this matter doesn't really exists in my life anymore. my working area are now merge with my home sweet home which i seems to be much chaos and weird for me.
home, work, and all thing in my mind are all united. makes me so much anger that i can thrown. im alone in the house with my parent. if im in stress,all that i can do is shout out at my parents especially my mother cos she the only want who check on me. so i feel so frustrated with myself. i cant ask, i cant laugh, i cant let out what i want to do, and this environment make me so damn hurt!!!! FUCK!! i wish i could let the anger in me flown far away!! but too bad i doesn't do so.
license....i hate to mention about this. i cant do anything without it. i already registered for the course but dint come to the class like at all for the time being. time really hate me to do this. arghhh!!! i want buy things, i wanna do that, this, i wanna meet someone and so much thing to do that i cant do it due to this matter, i feel stucked all the time. i wish i could get away of this. transportation really an important issued to me but yaa....i have to get over the matter as soon as possible. damn!!! just imagine...my course, fashion design are all about time management and plus our project are like mountain in the skies. huh!!! but i cant do it!!! and im not free to do it!!!shit..merepeking already!!!
school...im in a process of put all my heart and soul back to the school and back to the course that im taking which im consider passion before. but insyaalah, i managed to built it the passion back to my heart and hopefully it stick with me until the end. amin..course right now i feel really alive to do all the things ive to do in the mean time. aim..amin..amin.. but last week i have disapoint one of my lecturer again. i really didn't want it to be happen again this time around though..but i already dit. i should focus and stay focus to do my work as i did before at perak!! i need that farisya back!!! seriously. i can do it. i knoe!! amin..amin..amin!! i want to be back again... i want it damn badly.cos i know there are so many thing inside me that drooling to get out from me and producing something that ive never imagine before. i knoe there a talent in me cos people say so...i knew it is there but i cant let it out fro me cos im scared to do so.why???maybe im too afraid that people will judge me.. i guess!!! im afraid to lost again.im afraid i will meet the failure again like im in part 6!! hmmm...yes now im admit it!! im afraid to loose!! hmm....but i will never again.im gonna promise that!!! seriously...
this time around..i should and must wake up!!! i already learn form the mistake and already face the dark phase on mine. and this is the time to shake the whole wide world again and shocked the people that see u as one of stupid before. here u go FARISYA!!! aja aja FIGHTING!!! hiks... ceh farisya already here!!! amin..amin...amin!!!
beginning of 2010, it may sound and seems to be hard and thorn at first but im sure that there gonna be beauties and rainbow in the end. amin..amin..amin..
lecturer..just wait form me k!! im coming and catching up!!! for real!!! yes i am!! im gonna shock u with all my work!!
this is what i called journey...
love, farisya nadiah
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